but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
