Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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