Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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