someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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