I want to stick my p in your. b.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm passing your future prison.
vagina is talking i cant
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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