CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
