So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
