talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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