Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
