You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
