You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
