he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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