I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm eating all of the evidence.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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