I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize