can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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