Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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