nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm really busy with my period
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