Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
