I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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