why didn't you poke me back
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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