About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
