question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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