Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
not ubering you a puppy
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
