He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize