toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
