Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
