His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
