Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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