Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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