I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
