is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize