I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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