you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
