Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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