I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You left your phone here
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