So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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