Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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