Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
