THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
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just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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