Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize