you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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