I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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