If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish I only lived at night.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
