I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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