I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
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