i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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