Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize