I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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