I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
