Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize