i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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