we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Green mimosas i think yes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i think i just lost a toe
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
