This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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