How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
