So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
