Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
