I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
