Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
