there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
