What a fucking waste of an outfit
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
