i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
