I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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