he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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